Top Ten Career Goals

OMG! I nearly fell down on the NaNoBloMo on the SECOND DAY! How lame is that?? This is what happens when one spends half the day writing her happy little brains out, and the rest of the afternoon watching weird French movies with random singing (God bless Netflix Insta-Player!)

I've been thinking about goals a lot here lately, namely what kind of goals I have for my career. Now, most writers have totally boring goals like hitting the NYT Bestseller list, or going on Oprah. (Side note-that-is-actually-rant: People ask me A LOT about Oprah, and I...yeah, I don't get it. I write books about teenage witches, and vampires, and shapeshifters, and a reform school on an island. I personally think all those things are FREAKIN' AWESOME, but Oprah material, they are not. So no, I am never, ever, ever going to go on Oprah with my books, and that is fine by me. Added Additional Rant: I hate when people dismiss Oprah's Book Club. She's picked some great stuff, and pretty much all of it has been challenging, interesting literature. Go read THE POISONWOOD BIBLE, or FALL ON YOUR KNEES, or PARADISE, and tell me she only picks "fluff books," m'kay?)

ANYWAY. Those are great goals to have, no doubt, but I like to think outside the box. And so I present to you my Top Ten Career Goals:

1) Overwrought YouTube Video Tributes to HEX HALL, as has been previously mentioned.

2) Being the celebrity judge at my hometown's Miss National Peanut Festival Pageant, not-so-affectionately referred to as "Miss Nut." (Also, the fact that I just called it "Miss Nut" means that I will never be asked to be a celebrity judge. DAMMIT!)

3)Ditch The Husband for Celebrity Boyfriend; Be Scandalous/Fabulous (Look, I know this one is not that nice, but if I have a chance to be Mrs. Prince Caspian...er, Mrs. Ben Barnes, then I WILL TAKE IT, PEOPLE. And so would you. Don't lie.)

4) Two Words: Hawkins. Manor.

5)Become BFF with Dolly Parton and/or Paula Deen. (Ideally, it would be both of them, and we'd do one of Paula's shows together, and then I would die of happiness.)

6)HEX HALL: THE BROADWAY MUSICAL

7)Slumber Parties with J.K. Rowling and Stephenie Meyer

8)Scandalous Biography of Me by Kitty Kelly. Wait, is Kitty Kelly still alive? I think she is. Should maybe Google...Okay, YES, Kitty Kelly still alive. GOAL SET.

9)Have Vast Quantity of Internet Taken Up with Slash Fanfiction of HEX HALL Characters, Even Though Only One Character is Actually Gay.

10) Own Brand of Boxed Wine.

So that sums it up! Surely, I can make these things happen, preferably by next Thursday. Will let you know! ;-)