Friday, February 13, 2009

When V-Day Hatred Backfires

I really don't like Valentine's Day. I never have. I remember back in 9th grade, I wore all black one V-Day because I was OMGSOHARDCORE. (Sigh. Sometimes I wish I could have a little talk with my former 15 year old self. Maybe I'll do that as a blog one of these days.)

So I hate the V-Day, despite having been in a couple, like, forever. I think it's kind of crass and commercial and gross, and I really hate when girls get all mad at boys for not being slaves to The Hallmark and getting them cliche flowers or whatever.

But Small Son is having a party today, so of course, I spent a large part of last night stuffing tiny Kung Fu Panda tattoos into tiny Kung Fu Panda cards and cursing the world. As you do. I even bought him a special V-day shirt (he's 3. He can still get away with holiday wear. Plus it was super cute. It says Loverboy, and that makes me laugh.)

So maybe I had V-Day on the brain this morning as I was getting dressed, because without thinking, I threw on a pink t-shirt. Now, as you know from following this blog, I heart pink like whoa, so my having pink clothing is not a big surprise.

Drop off Small Son, head to coffee shop where I like to write, despite their love for aggressively loud Christian rock, a genre of music that kind of makes me want to die. This is why God made ear buds.

I go up to order my ginormous Cafe Americano- sweet, sweet caffeine!- and the little barista girl positively BEAMS at me. And then this happens.

BARISTA GIRL: OMG! You're wearing a Valentine's shirt! That makes me so happy!

ME *displays sensitivity and tact for which I am renowned*: Oh...um...no, th-this isn't a VALENTINE'S SHIRT. I,uh, just really like pink, so, I, you know, wore it. Because I like pink.

BARISTA GIRL: Oh. *makes sad why-did-this-bitch-just-kill-my-puppy? face* Okay. Well, it's pretty. And it LOOKS Valentine-y. Here's your coffee.

So here I sit, drinking my coffee that was brewed with sadness. And there's no way I can take it back, you know? I so want to go over there and be like, "HA! Psyche! This is TOTALLY for V-Day! I LOOOOOOOVE V-Day, Barista Girl! Don't be sad!

But it's too late. Maybe I should go find her some of those little candy hearts....

4 comments:

serenity said...

Rachel, major opposite post going on at my blog - all gooey love and V-day happiness. But, STILL, I totally get you. This commercial love isn't for everyone, and I'm sure Barista girl gets you too. She probably just got asked on a date by the boy she's loved in forEVER, which is what happened to me on V-day years ago and probably why I decided then and there that Hallmark rocks as does every single Valentine ever stuffed into a tiny white envelope. It takes all kinds, doesn't it?

Shelli said...

then you would lovie this tshirt
http://shop.cafepress.com/design/17271377 "Vuck Falentines" ;)

Carrie Harris said...

I need one of those shirts too. Along with one that says, "Happy fricken VD!"

Amie Stuart said...

If you were any funnier *shakes head* Girl...you should do stand up