The scene: This morning in our living room, around 6 AM.
The players: Small Son and I. I am very sleepy and wearing my broken glasses. Small Son, for reasons known only to him, has taken off both his pajama pants and night time diaper, and is casually sitting on the couch, naked from the waist down, as you can only do when you are 3.
(A commercial for Kung Fu Panda comes on the TV, a movie I bought for Small Son on Saturday, and one that he has already seen 6-7 times over the weekend.)
Small Son: "Ooh! Happy Panda!" (note: Small Son does not understand what the eff Kung Fu means, and therefore has re-titled the movie as he sees fit.)
Commercial Announcer: "In stores now!"
Small Son: "Not in store, in my room. *munches on Baked Tostito* (note: Yes, I gave my kid Tostitos for breakfast. But he really wanted them, and I did offer oatmeal, and they are baked, and he was crying, and it was 6 AM, and OMG DO NOT JUDGE ME! Ahem.) "Mama, go get Happy Panda. *pause* Please."
Me: *Sigh* "Okay." (thinking how smart Small Son is for knowing that the movie is in his room and not at the store. My child? GENIUS! Someone call Mensa for early admission!)
I come back with "Happy Panda" and find Small Son wiggling all over the couch.
Me: "What's wrong?"
Small Son: "I have chip in my booty."
Me: "..." (Mentally hangs up on Mensa)
Kids are the best, aren't they?