5 Recipes That Will Change Your Life (No, Seriously. They Will.)

Okay, you may be looking at this blog title and thinking, "Um... recipes? Isn't this a blog for Rachel's book?" And it is, usually, but until something concrete happens with The (Damn) Book, I won't have any news on that front. So you will all have to wait! That's right- NO BOOK INFO FOR YOU! BWA HA HA HA!! That's me up there, bein' all evil!

HOWEVER! I am not so evil as to leave you without content, and so, this entire week, I shall be gifting you with a little something I like to call Five Recipes That Will Change Your Life (No, Seriously. They Will.) These aren't just foods that are tasty, or foods that will impress your friends. These are honest to God, make-your-life-better foods. You will feel ever so blessed to have these recipes in your life. God knows I do!

So to start of this Week of RTWCYL(NSTW), I'm going to bestow upon you a recipe that is probably called something totally lame, like Asparagus Ham Roll-Ups, but that I have given the awesome name of: HANGOVER KRYPTONITE.

A brief story: I first had these at a party some of my friends and I threw known as The First Annual Fall Fling. Due to the waaaaaaaaaaay too much of a good time had by all, we have never had it again, as our livers would've probably spontaneously ejected themselves from our bodies and said, "You know what? You're on your own on this one."

Anyway, my friend Debbie made these for said party, and then I took some home with me, for which I was INCREDIBLY GRATEFUL the next day. Because these little nuggets of goodness? They will KILL YOUR HANGOVER DEAD. Those of you that are over 21 *ahem* know how food is such a weird thing on a hangover day. You need it very badly, and yet it's hard to find the right thing to eat that will not cause you to projectile vomit. A lot of people find greasy fast food does the trick, or possibly biscuits and sawmill gravy. And, yeah, those things can work, but nothing will make you happier than Hangover Kryptonite. Now, there is a drawback to these, namely that they're a little difficult to assemble WHILE hungover, so you might want to make them ahead of time and have them all ready to pop into the oven the next morning. Trust me, you will want to go back in time and make-out with yourself when you wake up all hungover and find these lovelies waiting for you in the fridge, ready to be baked and put in your belly, itchin' to kick vodka tonic ass. (Or beer ass, or wine ass. But not tequila ass. If you have a tequila hangover, there is nothing you can do but pray to the God of your choice and learn from it. Learn. There is a reason most people in my age group shudder when you say the words Jose Cuervo, and that reason is almost always college.)

HANGOVER KRYTONITE:
White bread (yes, the trashy kind. Doesn't matter how much. You may be insane and only want to make three rolls, or you might be like me and want to eat the whole loaf.)
Canned asparagus (It has to be canned. Only that willl give you the salty, mushy goodness needed for the Hangover Kryptonite to do its job.)
Sliced, deli-style ham
Cream cheese
Margarine or butter

Take however many slices of white bread you think you're going to need and cut the crusts off. Then roll your little squares of bread flat with a rolling pin (or, hey, the can of asparagus!).

Butter one side of your bread (pretty sparingly. No need to get crazy here!)

Slather some cream cheese on the flattened bread pieces (the other, not-buttered side, obvs.)

Put a piece of ham on that.

Put a stalk of the canned asparagus in the middle of that.

Roll those bad boys up, and stick 'em in a greased casserole dish.

Pop them in the over for about 10 minutes or so at 350. You want them golden, but not too brown.

Let 'em cool, then munch away, preferably with some Diet Pepsi close at hand. I swear, your poor little hungover self will feel oh-so-much better! It's something about the fluffiness of the bread, with the tang of the ham, and the saltiness of the asparagus, and the creaminess of the cream cheese. It all comes together to be the most comforting snack you ever had!

Tune in tomorrow for entry #2 in RTWCYL (NSTW)!